Bedtime Stories -as Told By Our Dad- -who Messed Them Up __exclusive__ May 2026

This world-building was confusing, yet strangely compelling. In Dad’s literary universe, the Big Bad Wolf was often dating the Fairy Godmother, and the Gingerbread Man was a fugitive on the run from the IRS. It was a shared universe where logic went to die, but continuity errors were born. Perhaps the most defining feature of a Dad Story was the inevitable intrusion of reality

In the pantheon of parenting archetypes, there is the Disciplinarian, the Softie, and the Cool Dad. My father occupies a niche category all his own: The Revisionist Historian of Children’s Literature. When we were kids, the phrase “Dad, tell us a story” wasn't a request for comfort; it was a gamble. It was an invitation to a literary fever dream that often left us more wired than a triple-shot espresso, scratching our heads at the logic, and occasionally correcting him on the fundamental laws of physics. Bedtime Stories -as Told By Our Dad- -who Messed Them Up

“They’re old friends from college,” he would snap, offended by our lack of imagination. “Don’t interrupt.” This world-building was confusing, yet strangely compelling

This is an ode to the bedtime stories as told by our dad—who messed them up—and the chaotic genius of getting it wrong. The trouble usually began with the classics. Most parents stick to the script. They know that Goldilocks and the Three Bears is a cautionary tale about trespassing and porridge temperature preferences. My dad, however, viewed the script as a loose suggestion, much like a speed limit sign or the instructions on a box of pasta. Perhaps the most defining feature of a Dad

We would lie there, eyes wide, processing this information. “But Dad, he huffed and he puffed…”

The clock strikes 7:30 PM. The sun has set, the house is dim, and the energy of the day is finally winding down. For most families, this is the golden hour of parenting. It is the time for warm milk, fuzzy blankets, and the gentle, soothing cadence of a well-read bedtime story. It is a time for lulling children into a state of restful tranquility.

Then, there is my father.